


Opia

by niahana



Category: Death Note
Genre: Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-05
Updated: 2015-12-05
Packaged: 2018-05-05 00:48:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5354564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niahana/pseuds/niahana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vulnerability can drive us to points we hope to never return from; solely for the purpose of ignoring the fact that we reached it to begin with. MelloxNear. Implied character death. Rated Explicit for sexual situations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Opia

**Author's Note:**

> This story is very long overdue, and it's written for haleybopcomet @ Tumblr.  
> For mood music, please search for the Orchestral Soundtrack to The Great Gatsby. Enjoy.

12:18 PM. The numbers etched on the clock spoke to Near like a taunting child. He had stared at the digital face, endured the incessant mockery for what felt like hours, and nothing. He turned away, baring hatefully towards the row of blocks in front of him. Near kept his focus on assembling the wooden pieces to tame his nerves, but it did no good. His thoughts refused to move; he wanted to shift back to the clock, hoping it had a new answer for him. It didn't.

Rester was late.

The post ran every day at exactly noon. Rester would leave at 12:02 pm to retrieve the mail and would be back by no later than a quarter past. His finger wove in and out of his white hair, curling it against his scalp and releasing the shape until his skin turned red from irritation. Sixty seconds had gone by and nothing. He was beginning to lose patience, and though that was something much unlike him, today was the one day he needed Rester’s predictable nature to benefit him. He was expecting something very important.

Near’s hands trembled in thought as time somehow grew slower than before, and yet time had no faster pace through the past months. ' _Not since..'_  His mind cut off the thought quickly, not bearing to continue, lest his day grow even worse. Eyes blinked back into focus, just to see his tower collapsed and broken to pieces. A soft breath huffed through his nostrils and a stern wipe to his thoughts was in order before he started to assemble each block once more.

Distraction was a key factor in Near's life now. Everything he worked toward, played with, and spent basic brain power on meant something that could pull away from dark emotion, from his unwanted moments of reality. ' _But he'll be here soon.'_ He assured himself, no uncertainty present. It was only a matter of time, and then everything would be normal again. 

And then, by some miraculous act of inevitability, the sound of heavy metal doors coming apart filled his ears. Instantly the tower was forgotten, head turning back for only a moment until black eyes flashed with a spark of pure anticipation.

"I've returned." A large man with blonde hair struggled to get in the door, back turned towards the staff as he wheeled in a large box crate. "I'm sorry I'm later than usual," Rester struggled to speak until the box was set down with a harsh brace to the floor. "I wasn't expecting such a large shipment. I had go back and get a lift to—"

Rester's exasperated explanation went unheard from Near. All that was in his vision was the crate even taller than he stood. His heart began to race; this was it. This was what he had waiting for. Picking himself off the floor he cut the other's story short. "Open it and take the box inside to my room." Near stood directly in front of it, his tone occupied. The others stared at him, but it only forced a more rash reaction "Go, I don't have any time to waste."

Another look came from his workers, but it went unnoticed. He only saw the crate being taken out of his field of vision, and two sets of feet filtering out of the room. Near was quick to try and follow, but a soft voice caught him before there was a chance. "Near?” It was that Halle stood behind the his shorter body, her even tone filled with something more, causing him to turn to her attention. "What's in there? I've haven't heard you sound so— full of life. Not in some time, anyways."

Halle's voice, despite her confusion, sounded happy. Near understood that, out of the SPK, she had been the most concerned for him after he took a turn for the worse. He couldn't blame the others; his change was almost no different than his normal self, but somehow Halle had seen through him. Near looked up at her, and without any warning he gave her a smile. "I'm going to get back what I lost with what's in that box, Halle. Trust me." With that he resumed his course of action, leaving the other more unsure than she started out. In time she would understand, but Near couldn't delay any further. He had waited too long to slow now.

It took struggle on Rester and Gevanni's part, but with the help of their strength and a crowbar, they had done it. The hard crate had been disassembled and a much more vulnerable box laid flat on the floor. Near stood in the door frame in pure awe. His prize was solid black and nothing else except for the small inscription of a designer label written in silver letters; there was an elegance to it, even without being unpacked. His fingers itched at his sides.

 Rester began to pile up the pieces of the crate to take away while Gevanni stood over it with skepticism. “Do you want us to open this too, Near? I’m not really if we’ll need a box cutter, but I can—"

“—No.” Near interrupted him, nudging past the larger body to get to the box, kneeling down beside it. His fingertips touched the coal-colored surface as if he were touching a slumbering body. They slid down the cool surface, that same sense of wonder etched on his face, but in an instant it shifted back to cool apathy. “I’d like be left alone now. Please go back to your work, and please don’t expect me to return before day’s end.”

The three seemed taken aback, awoken by their moment’s stun by Near’s voice. Halle hesitantly spoke, making sure to keep her voice void of any concern that grew. “You’re sure, Near?"

“Yes.” He responded without hesitation, no point of argument in his eyes. They stared at him, exchanging looks on his behalf before the started to take their leave. Relief overcame Near, and carefully retracting his fingers he stood once more, following them as they filtered from his bedroom. His eyes connected with Halle’s just as he began to shut the door. Her look screamed “Tell me", but there was nothing he had left to give her, only the hope that her trust withstood. Near separated himself from the group with the metal door, and the sound of mechanisms locking together was his parting. 

His back now turned to the door, Near gazed out towards the package lying before him and he could almost feel his adrenaline rising. His movement went before his brain could comprehend. Black paper was being ripped apart, protective packaging tossed carelessly about the room. The mess meant nothing to him, not now that he was so close. But one final sheet was removed before he saw it. His pupils grew. His hands fumbled, taking hold of a sturdy surface and pulling as hard as he could. The object was heavy, heavier than he had previously predicted, but nothing was going to get in his way. With enough extortion he managed to take hold of it long enough to heave it’s shell on top of his bed, a heavy thump coming as it hit the wooden backboard.  It was finally here. 

Staring directly at him was a doll. Not a normal doll by any means, but one that looked so realistic Near stared to make sure it wasn’t breathing. A moment passed before he could move closer towards it, making careful steps to where it resided on the center of the mattress. He sat on the edge, just so that he could be far enough to take in every feature it had. 

It stood tall; five feet and seven inches, but Near was sure the shoes adorned on it’s feet would have it standing taller. The legs looked long, longer as he trailed his finger tips up them. They had a few inches of thickness to them, calf muscles strong and thighs with just enough girth, but nothing too outstanding. He made sure to reiterate proportions perfectly, and so far he was pleased, even without seeing past the leather pants covering the doll. It’s body was much like that of its human comparison, he reveled.

His fingers went upward, feeling his narrow hips, sharp pelvic bones, and flat abdomen, where he could feel the silicone skin just before a maroon vest met his touch. For a moment he was stunned; it was just like touching his own skin, a silky softness with tiny indentations felt just barely on the pads of his fingers… Near swallowed and continued on. 

He worked his way up its chest, and against his senses felt the leather, but underneath he could feel the definition of tight muscles. Slightly trembling hands reached up, but it was only Near’s left hand the resumes the path to his neck. His right stalled against the cavity that should have held a heart. Near knew there was nothing more than a plastic core, and yet he could swear there was a pulse. It beat slowly, a smooth rhythmic thumping that resonated through his core. It took convincing himself to continue on, but what he was met with left had more than just rewards. 

The doll’s face wasn’t blank like most he had seen, nor was it smiling. It had the perfect blend of passive and proud, with eyebrows down and eyes open.

This was Mello.

 Ice. It was the first thought that past through his mind as charcoal eyes met with the shimmering blue counterparts of the doll. They were passive, eyes that could compliment any expression, but a fierce, animalistic nature hid inside them. Near broke the almost haunting gaze only to glance down at its lips. They were thin and outstretch with perfect proportions, and he found humor in how they were pressed so tightly together. One touch and he could feel the subtle cracks in them,  and the way they moved gave no more than a perfect illusion to a real human being.

His hand traveled up once more, wanting to feel the blond hair he had high expectations for. The color was deep, but there was still the uncanny shade that he spent hours choosing. He started from the top of its head where the roots met, and slowly slide down into the layered pieces, feeling them wash over his fingers like silk strands. The softness gave him comfort, comfort he had not had in quite some time.

All of this was in his favor, but there was one last thing that he needed to be perfect, or this was nothing more than a toy. Near made quick work of removing the dark hooded jacket from it’s body, careful to leave the rosary around his neck undisturbed. He laid the fabric down beside him, and revealed more flesh than he had saw before. Relief came over him as he saw, indeed, this is everything he wanted. Every single factor was perfect, right down to what made this doll as unique as possible.

From the high point of his forehead down to the midpoint of his forearm was a deep scar. Careful lines were etched in it’s edges, and there were a fire of colors inside the raised area. Near reached up to touch it, but the moment he did he pulled back, as if the portion were actually still on fire. it brought back a flurry of memories, ones that he had kept tightly in a vault in his mind so the pain wouldn’t overwhelm. This was it. 

After everything he needed a moment to collect his thoughts. It was so much; so much time had been put into this, so much desire and so much hope. It was nearly hard to breathe. Before he knew it he was sitting on its lap, resting against the strong thighs. He watched the doll's expression, _Mello’s_ expression, and he almost caught himself waiting for him to blink. Near shook his head. “You surely must think I’ve lost my head.” His voice came out in a mumble as he humored himself, playing with the soft blond hair.

He couldn’t deny that some part of him had went mad; after all, he was sitting on a clone-like doll of someone long gone. And what made it even worse was how truly alive it felt.

Near could almost hear Mello response back in his mind, knowing without a doubt that he would amused by his weakness. “ _You’re not crazy, but you’re stupid._ ” Near’s voice came out much lower than before, and there was a hint of mockery to his tone. “ _You can’t cope without a toy, how am I not surprised._ "

“It isn’t funny to make fun of one's grief, Mello.” Near responded to his impression like the crafted lips of the doll had been speaking instead of himself, and for a fleeting moment, he could swear that they had.

“You knew this would happen. You brought me back, after all."

Suddenly his heart began to race faster than it ever had. That was, without a doubt, his voice. Gruff but inviting, quiet but filled with volume. He had to move his eyes down into his lap, trying to regain back the breath that had been knocked out of him. “You’re imagining things.” Inwardly reprimanding himself, a small frown went to Near's lips. He tried to clear his mind. His eyes closed tight, inhaling slowly. 

“Do you really want to believe that?"

The voice filled Near’s ears once more, this time even closer than before. His eyes shot open, and just then he felt his stomach drop. For a fleeting moment he saw it; a smile. The figure before him, lifeless and void, had moved. Near rubbed his eyes in protest, knowing that what he saw was just a trick of the mind. Another glimpse and it was back to it’s previous stoic face, staring at Near with no choice in the matter. Taken back he had no choice but to stare back, helpless to the sudden rise of his emotions. He couldn’t keep the same hope from his thoughts. He wished that it were true. He wanted nothing more than for this doll to Mello, to be the real thing so that they could make up for what they had lost. 

Near’s memories traced back to the first time he and Mello and seen each other since his departure from Wammy’s House. The situation was grim, but he was expecting it, and couldn’t have been more prepared. He waited every day to see him again, and he had gotten just that. His thoughts went further in the depths of his closed off visions to the middle of that night, and his eyes were closed once more. He could easily see that night. Mello had came back when he was left alone.

Near wasn’t sure what compelled the change, but Mello came with a different aura entirely. He was still hot-tempered, but more collected, more determined to get what he came for; but it wasn’t physical. He simply wanted to have a conversation. He wanted to know everything that he missed when he left down to the very detail, and Near obliged.

They talked until the sun threatened to peek across the sky. It was a moment where Near felt more complete than he had ever been. Then they came to a truce, something he never expected. They would continue to work separately; this would never join them in that aspect, they were just too different in their methods. But they would spend one night together each week, just talking, filtering everything they had out in each other’s confidence.

He still wondered if it was that very moment that Mello knew he was going to give up his life in order to catch Kira. Perhaps that was what gave him the courage to make the bold decision to call their truce. Or perhaps he thought of Near just as much as he had of him. Either way, each night would be something Near waited for.

Gaining the strength, he managed to open his eyes toward the doll once more. He was still the same empty shell, but his core was slowly being filled with his memories. He almost felt warm. Near scanned his face, but something compelled him to stop toward the lightly colored lips. He touched them at the corner, just barely skimming his thumb against them. Something about the way they kept shape brought back the recollection of their first kiss like it was just minutes prior.

It was somewhere in the middle of the collection of nights they spent together, and it happened without warning. He couldn’t remember what they were talking about before it happened, but something had caused Mello to stop his sentence entirely. He could see the look of hesitation on Mello's face. He could even feel the confusion and hatred for a few moments, but then it happened: Mello leaned in swiftly, like a hawk snatching it’s prey from the ground, and his lips were consumed by the other’s. Near didn’t pull away.

He craved to feel that same touch again, the same gentle roughness that only Mello could offer him. His vision clouded in a thick daze; temptation and longing overruled his judgment, and before he could stop himself he leaned it to press his lips against the faux ones in front of him. A minor concern came before, thinking this wouldn’t work, thinking the heavy scent of plastic would break whatever reality he was attempting to force, but it never came. He smiled similar to the cologne would wear to their meetings. It was an earthy, mossy scent that invaded his nasal passages, and just a hint of the musk of leather. He was unsure if this was impeccable attention to detail or just his deep desire to have it be true, but he clung tighter to the kiss.

The lips were strict on movement, but they gave just enough leeway as Near moved against them to feel like the real thing. He felt like he was reliving the kiss. It was something strange, like déjà vu. It wasn’t just he that was moving, but the doll that was taking over. They were pressing in a tense fashion, but it slowly became fluid, like the battle was coming to an end. They dominated with hesitance, but still catered to the clumsy behavior of his inexperience. The moment he closed his eyes it felt like time had stopped. Reality was changing into a dream, and the doll wasn’t just a doll anymore.

His fingers flinched when he felt two arms wrapping around the middle of his waist it alarmed him so much that he threatened to stop, but he didn’t. He wanted to feel this, he wanted to feel anything similar to before, no matter at what cost, sanity be damned.

Once he gave up his will to resist, everything was grew in intensity. It was no different than before. He could open his eyes and see Mello again, living, breathing. He looked peaceful, but determined to keep Near's attention on him. He kissed him more than once. He kissed him so many times that he felt dizzy from the lack of air. Then the warm lips spread down to his jaw, his neck, to the top of his clavicle. Each small touch left a burning on his flesh. It overloaded his senses, his logic, but the pleasure was unlimited. And yet still there was a ounce of him that wanted truth.

“You’re not real..” Near demanded with a lack of breath, head tipping back as he’s answered back with a bite to the shoulder. He could only see Mello’s lips rising into a smile. 

“How do you feel this then? Nothing exists without evidence, remember?” Near could only huff in reply, but he was quickly distracted with two thighs grinding into him from below, causing his body to heat up immediately. He could feel Mello’s smiling growing, only worsening his preexisting condition. His head rose up to give another small peck to Near’s neck, a low whisper following that made his hair rise. “Let me give you what you need..."

His fingers kneaded inside the fabric of Mello's vest, holding on as if everything would vanish if he left go. Near could feel himself slipping away with each word, with every touch. And he agreed to stay within the delusion, as long as Mello was in it with him. 

 

Everything felt blurred. Emotions, feelings, even time itself had no outlasting position in that moment. Things progressed quickly once he turned his mind over to him. He was striped of his clothes; only the long, overly baggy dress shirt hanging languidly from his body. He could only watch as Mello’s ice-cold vision rolled down his form, and he struggled to keep himself straight. He had to, he didn’t want to give him any reason to leave. But at that moment he heard Mello utter one phrase. “Prepare yourself for me.” And he did, without a single hesitation. 

Again, all he could focus on were Mello’s eyes, watching Near, silently demanding his movements. His chest heaved as he carefully worked in another finger in his entrance, the uncomfortable tightness unnerving, but he was determined. He wanted Mello, _needed_  him, so he thrusted his fingers inside with a small sound of discomfort.

He couldn’t stand it; there was nothing but the dead silence, his heavy breath, and the humiliating sounds of his own preparation to filter the room. Time and time again would his digits work inside him, pressing tightly against the walls of his entrance, and he gave Mello a look of pleading, but he did nothing but shake his head. He just watched with a look so serious it drove him mad.

“More.” Mello murmured with a small tilt of his head. “Touch yourself like I would."

Near’s body was trembling; he knew this wouldn’t be enough, but it almost made him nauseous to think of anyone but him touching his body this way, even if it were by his own being. 

He channeled the night that Mello had taken his virginity, and the extraneous worship he gave to his body before taking him. But he obliged, working his hand slowly up his chest. He mirrored where Mello’s hand went, and he could feel the elongated, calloused fingers better than his own. They ghosted over his pectoral muscle, causing Near to shiver at the light sensation. 

Temptation overcame him, and he went immediately towards what he wanted, but a harsh voice stopped all movement. “You know I wouldn’t do that. You want me, don’t you?” Near did, he wanted him more than anything in the world. Slow and with purpose they went up to make gentle circles around the pink bud on his chest. He teased himself until it swelled, and the color deepened. Only then did he take the chance to take it between his fingertips, a soft sound slipping past his breath. He followed his memories, rolling it, feeling the pleasure shoot down his body with each touch.

The stimulation to his body suddenly spread, his lubricated fingers reaching deeper inside and body reacting to each pull and pride to his chest. He felt the same blissful heat that came from that night, because his heart and soul felt as if Mello were doing it himself. He could hear his anticipation, the adrenaline running through his blood. He felt it so strongly that it made everything much more powerful, so much more than he could feel his loins tightening...

“Near."

A second shiver more intense than before ran through his body as the other called out his name. His eyes peeked over at the other, gaining some leverage from the ecstasy coursing through him.

“Let me have you."

The moment those words passed his lips Near couldn’t help but stare in disbelief. It was just what he had said before, on the last night Mello came to him. For a moment, those piercing eyes from before went hollow and glass-like.  “Mello…” A new emotion rose in him, something completely different. It felt the same as watching the last rose in a garden waste away, and for once Near admitted to himself that he was terrified.

He couldn’t spare any time to fear, he needed to feel him, keep Mello there with him. He slid himself further down Mello’s legs, and without and hesitation he started to undo the intricate ties of his pants. From there he slowly worked the tight fabric away, cheeks warming quickly at the side of Mello’s erection appearing out from under the cloth. 

' _Just like before_ ’ He assured himself, bringing himself up, hovering over the other's ready member with his hand holding it in place. If he did it right everything would be okay. Carefully, the small body lowered itself down, and his eyes opened wide as he felt the head push past his entrance. His hands could not prepare himself with this girth, but it mattered little to him now. He needed more, he needed to feel, even if it was pain. His back stood straight as he took inch by inch of Mello inside him, slightly swollen lips parted as euphoria wracked his insides.There was substituting, this was Mello. He was complete again.

Mello was no longer speaking, but it was alright; he had too much focus to lose it now. His spoiled body had become far too spent, but wouldn’t rest. He brought himself up only to thrust himself back down, a gasp filling his lungs. He started an agonizingly rhythm, giving Mello everything he can possibly offer.

 He was blinded by the sensations flowing through his body. Lust, desire, fulfillment. It was flowering through his system with each roll of his hips, with every moan that escaped his mouth. In his highest points he felt pure joy, and yet heartbreak threaded to resurface every time he threatened to slow down. So he didn’t. Faster, deeper, he took Mello in for as much as he could withstand until his head was swimming once more. Then Near knew Mello was back. There was breath against his skin, claws sinking deep into his hips to keep him fixated so that he could only feel Mello’s body penetrating him repeatedly. He felt long hair tickling against his cheek once he would get closer to him, and groans that synced with his own every single time. It was bliss.

There was nothing more that Near wanted than for this to go on for eternity. Them, connecting in such a way that he would never had to give Mello up again. Not for the world, not for Kira. Nothing could separate them. This pleasure had his mind rolling back through every moment of contentment they shared together, each second that had Near’s heart completely captured by the other, whether he was willing or not. 

Near clasped the broad shoulders of the other, desperate for contact as if the other pounding inside him wasn’t enough. He could feel a hand gripping around his front, taking a hold of his leaking member and pumping it in time with his thrusts. “Mello, Mello...” He cried out, calling his name as if it were the only word he knew. 

“Near…

 _I love you_.”

He barely registered once he heard the other speak to him, confusion dripping through a crack in his muddled mind. The voice didn’t sound determined anymore. It sounded unsure, despondent. He couldn’t stop moving, the indulgence of pure life itself was too strong a feeling for him to quit now, but it perturbed himself enough to look out into the opaque frozen water that were Mello’s only gate to true emotion.

He couldn’t stand it any longer. His muscles tensed and the thick coil in his stomach tightened so unbearable that Near wasn’t sure if relief would be possible from this feeling. But it came, so strong that black immediately overcame his vision. His body immediately halted, seated on top of Mello as his body convulsed freely. He was without sight, hearing, breath, and his body abruptly gave away from pure exhaustion, leaving him to crash forward onto Mello’s chest; but he was happy.  With as much energy he could muster, Near looked up with a smile. All he could want to see now was the dark cloud in Mello’s vision gone to be replaced with that same intoxicating elation.

But all he could see was himself in two shallow mirrors.

The ethereal world of bright colors and warmth melted around him, showing reality for all that is was worth; a pitch-black room, cold and barely inhabited. The body he held to so dearly, the one filled with so much fire and adoration was nothing more than a silicone corpse, staring into the void that had become Near’s vision.

It couldn’t be right. His mind screamed, and Near closed his eyes, begging for this to be the dream. But hope dwindled into a mere figment of his imagination, similar to this very night. Alone and dejected, Near collapsed on the bed, curling inside himself. He allowed the shame to fill him to the very brim, but he would not cry. From this point on, he and the doll beside him were one and the same; lifeless.

 


End file.
